Thursday, 4 March 2010

Technology 1 Humans 2

Mayans may have predicted 2012 for the end of the world but the apocalyptic war between man and machine is already well advanced. These are already dark times; how else to explain this sight of wanton destruction which greeted me in a Northcote car park just this week?

Yes, it’s a handsome and highly desirable wood-effect trouser press – a Corby no less - ripped asunder and left on the pavement like trash. Slain for what? Because it was a machine? Because it wanted to help folks look nicer? Because we can’t all learn to get along and live in harmony?

Clearly the aggressors were people with no soul; no respect for form or beauty or a perfectly straight bifurcated garment. Either that or Alan Partridge was in town and a bit bored. Whatever the reason, there are things that are just wrong. This is one of those times…

Still, there are evil robots out there – Mint Custard regulars know this all too well - and some do have to be brought down. Like this so-called-boiler robot – sneaking into people’s airing cupboards, messing around with their water so that no matter how gently they adjust the shower temperature controls it’s either too roasty burny hot or sticky-out nipply ice cold. For that alone I’m glad that someone took this fucker out and left it to rot on the wastelands.

So in summary… come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, and try to love one another right now (unless they’re an evil water-adjusting mechanical psycho-shower hose beast).

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