Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Death by Puppy - Round 2

It's time for another round of Death by Puppy, a semi-regular feature dedicated to the memory of anthropomorphised peluches whose tour of duty as companion/punching bag to Woody, our small but tenacious puppy, has come to an end. This time we feature two much loved but short-lived folks from land and sea.

First up we have Kanga Poo. We would like to dedicate this to the memory of not one but two of the Poo family who perished at Woody's tiny jaws. The first friendly yellow marsupial met its maker literally overnight, its back ripped open along what we assumed was a dodgy workshop-sewn seam and Woody triumphant with a plastic squeaker in his mouth. We took the unprecendented move of returning Kanga Poo to the shop on the basis of poor seamstressness, noting that we only had a Jack Russell, not a rottweiler-velociraptor cross.

Sure enough within three days Woody (who it must be said greatly enjoyed playing with Kanga during their short time together) had once again ripped open Kanga Two's spine, removed the squeaker and decorated his bed in white fluff. Rest in Pieces, Kanga.

Second up we have Annabel Crab, a small squeaky crustacean with threaded wool instead of a shell and big googly eyes that lasted about 48 hours. We think Woody ate them. Despite this Annabel fared quite well for a while. That was until Woody realised that he could unpick her shell row by row by standing on her back and yanking with his teeth. By the time the fourth row was gone Woody had enough wool to form a lassoo and Annabel's stuffing was stuffed.

On behalf of ourselves and Woody we'd like to take a moment to thank these two loyal, short-lived servants to the cause. Nice one guys. You (temporarily) rocked.
Name: Kanga Poo
Age: 3 days
Nature of Injuries: Disembowelment through spinal column
Cause of Death: Excessive innard spillage leading to squeaker removal

Name: Annabel
Age: 3 weeks
Nature of Injuries: dual eye detachment, shell unplucking
Cause of Death: progressive woolly shell removal leading to potential
choking hazard and multiple exposure to crabby innards

Vale Annabel and Kanga Poo. Fare thee well in the next life

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