Winter: like Summer but Colder

I promised myself I wouldn’t do it, but I was recently obliged to buy a pair of what can best be described as ‘sports leggings’ to stop me freezing my little bottom off whilst riding my bike to and from work. With the changing of the seasons what was once a sleepy stumble from bed to bicycle via toothbrush for a gentle two-wheeled amble across Melbourne in the morning sun now feels like being held hostage in the freezer section of Coles in my underpants.

I have attempted to keep whatever dignity is possible for someone of my stature in skin-tight jerkins by wearing shorts on top, but this just leaves the impression that I’ve just been eliminated from America’s Next Top Superhero for not having a cape.

Still, I’ve been a lot toastier which is really all that counts but it all serves as a stark warning that my first Melbourne winter is just around the corner. This reminded me of a recent post by Kate on the Monday Project blog in which she listed reasons to be excited about a Melbourne winter. So in the interests of sharing, here are some of my own:

1. Pasties and cheese and tomato toasties as a way of life
2. Wiping condensation off the hairdryer in a morning to avoid electrocution and feeling like someone wiping fingerprints off a gun
3. Wearing winter coats that make you look like the Beatles in Help!
4. Only nine hours difference between us and the UK which means that football is back on at a sane hour of the evening
5. Going to places that only thrive in summer and enjoying the silence
6. Riding bikes in the dark and imagining the light rays as your own personal bat-signal or light-sabre type device
7. Sitting in cafés with gas fires on to save on heating bills at home
8. See you later wasps and flies. Hope you become extinct in some freak winter hibernation accident (but a natural one that no one expected and not some form of insect genocide)
9. Respite from having to wear shorts and thongs thus regaining some of the dignity lost during summer
10. Going for a walk on the beach on a grey day with your walkman on and singing Everyday is like Sunday by Morrissey out loud
11. The smell of real fires coming from real chimneys like in Mary Poppins
12. Boots that are made for walking (and that’s just what they do)
13. Losing a few days of your life watching DVD box sets in bed
14. Curry as both a food and bodily heating device
15. Hoping, despite scientific and historical evidence, that it will snow