Under Pressure

Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.
Nervous tension can cause you to lack confidence in yourself,
To lose your powers of concentration and to be inefficient in your work.
Nervous tension can prevent you from relaxing, can spoil your leisure hours,
And rob you of the sleep you need at night.
The mind remains tense when it is restlessly turning over personal problems,
Worrying about financial matters, or the conflicts of daytime employment, or
Fretting over the troubles of the world.
Lemon Jelly - Nervous Tension (1998)

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!”

Dr Peter Venkman, a Ghostbuster

As Rudyard Kipling once noted, the ability to keep your head when all around you are losing theirs is not a bad one to have. Yet it seems that leaders at every level around the world have lost their respective plots.  With Venkman-esque predictions about the imminent collapse of western civilisation reported on a daily basis no wonder we’re all feeling a little frazzled and put upon in 2012. Consequently this week Centrelinked was here to offer the stressed a shoulder to sob on, and the pressured time to unwind. Remember, you’re not alone (because they’re always watching you...)  

Here’s what got played:       

- Paranoid – Black Sabbath

- First Day – the Futureheads

- The Sound of Fear - Eels

- Anxious – the Housemartins

- Panic – the Smiths

- Nervous Tension – Lemon Jelly

- Pressure on Julian – Blur

- Under Pressure – David Bowie and Queen

- Panic Plants – the Lovely Eggs

- Fitter Happier - Radiohead

- The Fear – Pulp

- The Fear – Lily Allen

- Don’t You Worry About a Thing – Stevie Wonder

And what we didn’t have time for because our bosses were working us too hard and we got scared and had to go home sick

- Nervous Breakdance – Custard

- Stressed Out – A Tribe Called Quest

- 19th Nervous Breakdown – The Rolling Stones

Centrelinked is on your radio thanks to 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. Listen where’er you may wander via www.northwestfm.org or those good folks at www.TuneIn.com

Play along during the week on Tw*tter via @mintcustard or #centrelinked.  

Grinning Myself to Death

In news that has left me vulnerable to feather related knock-downs, Paul Heaton has announced that he will be touring Australia in October 2012 for what I think is the first ever time. 

I had long assumed our shared passion for not dying in aeroplanes ruled out any chance of me ever seeing Paul on these shores, and yet here we are. Clearly he has faith that his lucky pixie and Simon le Bon calling card (previously used as inflight lucky charms) are working well. Whatever the reason, it is ace news.

Anyone who has ever had a casual glance at these pages would know my appreciation for all things Heaton - the pop star against which all others should be judged. It's been 23 years since my first concert - a Christmas night out at Bridlington Spa with the Beautiful South. The newly formed band went to such lengths not to play Housemartins songs that they did You Keep It All In twice and offered covers of Pebbles' Girlfriend and the Bee Gees' You Should be Dancing. 

Thankfully Paul seems to have reconciled himself with his extensive back catalogue and the Australian gigs are promising a greatest hits set covering all of his career - Housemartins, the South and solo. I can hardly believe I'm typing those words.

Despite having turned 50 this month, Heaton is fresh from writing and performing The 8th (the longest pop song ever) at the Manchester International Festival and undertaking another of his cycling pub tours of the UK, so it sounds like we're going to see an energised and engaged PD. I can't help but feel it will have been worth every minute of the long wait.



• Wednesday 17 October – Jive Bar, Adelaide (http://www.jivevenue.com/)
• Thursday 18 October – Corner Hotel,Melbourne (http://cornerhotel.com/)
• Saturday 20 October – The Factory, Sydney (http://www.factorytheatre.com.au/)Sunday 21 October – Fly By Night, Perth (http://www.flybynight.org/)

So, Australian fans, let's get up off our knees and start compiling that dream set list... form an orderly queue in the comments section below. 

How the Housemartins Gave Me Back My Mojo

Back in 2009 I got all excited on these very pages at the news that the original members of the Housemartins (my favourite band, lest we forget) had reunited for the first time in 22 years to do an interview for the UK music magazine, Mojo.

I clearly wasn't alone, as the posts that I wrote on the subject (yes, there was more than one...) remain some of the most well read in Mint Custard's brief and inauspicious history. Many hundreds of people (I know, unlikely but true) have googled the Housemartins mini-reunion and arrived here hoping for either a concert announcement (I've long given up hope) or the chance to read the article online.

Sadly it isn't available anywhere, a fact that made me get off my bony bottom and write to the people at Mojo asking them to post it online or at least give permission for me to reprint it here. Frustratingly, they just ignored my email. I received an automated 'please don't bother us' and nothing more. Then I tried to find the author, David Hutcheon. I Googled and Googled but (apart from finding out he writes lots of articles about world music for The Times which I can't access because they have a paywall) again, nothing.

So now, given that the interview is almost two years old, and given that no one is going to make or lose money from it and also because I would like to improve the lives of the hopeful souls who just want to read an interview with the 4th best band from Hull, I'm going to do what most people on the internet would have done in the first place and just post it anyway.

If you are David Hutcheon or indeed anyone from Mojo and you'd like to send me an angry letter packed with threats then you know where I am. For everyone else (and with apologies for the limitations of my scanner) please enjoy the final reunion of Hugh, Paul, Stan and Norman; the mighty Housemartins.

Acid House-martin

It feels a little odd to be advocating concerts that I’ll never attend in promotion of an album that is unlikely to be released in Australia, but since Paul Heaton is afraid of aeroplanes and unlikely to tour here any time soon I have to live vicariously to get my Heato-related kicks.

The musical world's foremost collector of crisp packets (and former Beautiful South and Housemartins frontman) releases his new album, Acid Country next Monday in the UK and whilst I've only heard the snippets available on his website and MySpace page it's enough to make me part with my money. There's unquestionably more of a raw, jangly Housemartins feel to Paul's recent material compared to some of the more polished Beautiful South stuff. This is no bad thing at all as you can see from this live performance of Acid Country's lead single The Ladder's Bottom Rung (though don't look at the audience who all seem like they've ended up there by mistake...)

Mr Heaton will be promoting Acid Country with his second solo tour of 2010 and, as I said back in June, those attending will be chuffed to know that Paul has been playing a few Housemartins songs in his set for the first time in over 20 years. The Acid Country tour starts in Liverpool on the 20th September, winding up in Wexford, Ireland on the 8th October. Tickets are available now from gigsandtours.com. Enjoy it you lucky swines.

Elsewhere Heaton is also the support for the evergreen Madness on their Do Not Adjust Your Nut tour from 26 November to 17 December. Madness were surprisingly wonderful when they toured Australia 18 months ago, so that's not a bad bill, even for a bit of a nostalgia show.

However if, like me, you can't make it to either tour then why not treat yourself to a bit of Heaton live, from his own kitchen table no less, with this acoustic version of I Do from his last album, the Cross Eyed Rambler

Paul's Solo Tour (Tickets on sale from gigsandtours.com)

UK - September

· 20 - O2 Academy, Liverpool

· 21 - King Tuts, Glasgow

· 22 - O2 Academy, Newcastle

· 24 - O2 Academy, Manchester

· 25 - Thekla, Bristol

· 26 - Glee Club, Birmingham

· 28/29 - Borderline, London

· 30 - Leadmill, Sheffield

IRELAND - October

· 2 - SET Theatre, Kilkenny

· 3 - Ruby Rooms, Castelbar

· 5 - Cyprus Avenue, Cork

· 6 - Academy, Dublin

· 7 - Auntie Annie's, Belfast

· 8 - Arts Centre, Wexford

Paul’s new album Acid Country is out on 13 September 2010. For more details visit Paul's website at paulheatonmusic.co.uk

East Yorkshire (Slight Return)

It’s the first day of winter here in Melbourne and there must be something in the air because I’m down with a bad case of the fed-ups. I’d therefore like to extend my enormous mittened hand of gratitude to the good folks at the Suitable Mouth, home of all things Housemartins, Beautiful South and Paul Heaton for warming my insides with the news that Paul has been playing Housemartins songs on his peddle-powered jaunt around the UK.

No I won't play any bloody Housemartins... oh go on then

It may not be the Housemartins reunion that five people a day land on these pages looking for but I hope that these performances of Flag Day and Build from his gig in the East Yorkshire rock and roll hamlet of Hutton Cranswick give you similar tingles to the ones I had. As far as I can figure out it must be 22 years since these songs were last played live… they still sound ace.

Pedals and Pumps

How many people need to do something before it becomes a trend? If you’ll accept two as an answer then please permit me to be the first to announce the latest celebrity trend: people who I like circumnavigating the British Isles under their own steam.

Yes, hot on the (kitten) heels of Eddie Izzard’s still frankly astonishing 43 marathons in 52 days for Sports Relief, Paul Heaton is undertaking a UK tour with a difference; on his bicycle. True to form, the former Beautiful South-er and Housemartin is performing each gig in a different pub where he and his small crew will stay for the night. They will then cycle on to the next gig whilst their equipment goes ahead.

Says Heaton: “I’m looking forward to pedalling around the country to promote cycling and the British pub. Both are very close to my heart. I’ve been cycling all my life and the British pub has provided most of my favourite stop-off points. It saddens me to hear about so many British pubs closing on a weekly basis so I want to do all I can to get people back to their local.”

Dates are still to be announced but details of the Pedals and Pumps tour will be posted on Paul’s just-launched website at paulheatonmusic.co.uk.

Meanwhile in other Housemartins-related news, I’ve only just become aware of this special Subbuteo Edition of London 0 Hull 4. As well as last year’s Deluxe Edition of their debut album the package contains four badges, a 12" x 18" poster and a six inch replica Subbuteo figure in Hull City colours. The downside is they cost 40 quid plus postage and packing. But hey, there are only 1000 in the world … mmmm, limited edition tat I’ve already got and won’t listen to… limited edition… must … have…one…

Anyway, let’s see how far this new trend extends. Look out for Beth Orton going coast to coast on a pogo stick, Daniel Kitson and Vic Reeves racing go-karts between Britain’s finest pie-shops, Gruff Rhys touring National Trust heritage homes on a large goat and Bill Drummond driving around the M25 for 25 hours straight. Oh wait… he already did that…

Songs in the Key of Hull

Another Housemartins reunion of sorts to report on with the news that Ted Key, the original bass player and co-writer of many tracks on London 0 Hull 4 including Freedom, Get Up Off Our Knees and the superlative Flag Day, has just released what is technically his first solo LP. I say technically because he’s recording under the moniker Ted Key and the Human Voice whose number apparently includes Mr Hugh “I like toast” Whitaker on drums and congas.

Lest we forget Ted and Hugh were also erstwhile members of the Gargoyles, one of three groups ahead of the Housemartins in their own list of Hull’s best bands (the others being Red Guitars and 3-Action!).



Ted’s album is called Madolescent Street and you can hear decent sized snippets on his Myspace page, here. It’s all nice stuff with echoes of Half Man Half Biscuit and Sheffield troubadour Richard Hawley, especially on the pretty Other Side of the Day. Meanwhile The Boats on the River Go Sailing By is a jaunty paean to the surreal events of the 2007 Hull floods and comes across like East Yorkshire’s answer to Johnny Cash’s Five Feet High and Rising.

Madolescent Street is out now for a mere nine quid. For more information, visit Ted’s website here.

A Jingle, Jangle Morning

Some mixed fortunes this week for people who like their music intelligent and sporadically jangly…

Sadness because this is the week we say goodbye to the Lucksmiths, one of my favourite Australian groups. Being one of Australia’s best bands they, like the Go-Betweens before them, have sold bugger all records and as a result this weekend’s duo of Melbourne concerts will be their last.
The Lucksmiths were the first Australian band I ever saw and the first band that I saw with Mrs Custard. She put Smokers in Love on the first mix-tape she ever made me. Aw, bless. They were playing at the Hopetoun in Sydney and reminded me of the Housemartins. Through them I heard about other Candle Records acts and discovered a whole new world of indie down under.

In particular the Lucksmiths have a distinct and quite lovely way with words. They capture the joys of the pleasurably mundane (crosswords, reading the paper in in bed, smoking, sitting around on rainy days) better than most. This flows into their sweet and realistic love songs which are always high on romance, nostalgia and longing with healthy sprinklings of unrequited-love scattered throughout. The objects of their affection often have quirky habits and back stories so you find that you're listening to a story as much as a song. Travel and geography are also important aspects of their lyrics, with the great distances required both to get to Australia and to travel within this huge continent used metaphorically to describe the pains of being apart. Like the Go-Betweens before them, the Lucksmiths world, whilst universally understandable, is very much set against a backdrop of their Australia - and for that read the trams, cafes, street corners and record stores of Melbourne.

I left Australia not long after seeing them that first time at the Hopeton. Flying out of Melbourne I did a quick whistle stop of the record shops to get some music to take back to the UK. I ended up in Polyester Records and innocently asked the person behind the counter if they had heard of a band called the Lucksmiths and did they have any records of theirs. They were very friendly and pointed me towards a surprisingly healthy amount of stock. I nattered on with them for a while about how I really liked them and then bought a few singles and albums to remind me of my trip. I found out a few months later that Polyester is basically the home of the Lucksmiths and at least one of the band works there. It's hard to imagine many other bands as good as the Lucksmiths being so unassuming in that situation.

The Lucksmiths are playing with the Smallgoods at the Thornbury Theatre on Friday 28th August. Tickets are still available so it’s still not too late to come along and give them the goodbye they deserve. Their last ever show is at the Corner Hotel in Richmond on Saturday 29th. Quite rightly it’s been sold out for months.




More pleasant and not totally unrelated news, given his propensity for an intelligent lyric and a jangly chord, is that Lloyd Cole is returning to our shores in November as part of a very quick jaunt around the world. He will also be playing at the Thornbury Theatre for the Melbourne leg, as well as the following dates around Australia:


Friday 6 November: Hepburn Springs, The Palais
Saturday 7 November Brisbane, Powerhouse Theatre
Mon 9 November Freemantle, Fly By Night Club
Wed 11 and Thu 12 Nov Sydney, The Basement


He’s also taking in the west coast of America, New Zealand, Singapore, Paris and England before finishing up in Glasgow as part of promotion for his four CD box-set of rarities, Cleaning out the Ashtrays. Dates and booking details for all shows are available on Lloyd’s website.

If you haven’t seen him do his solo acoustic thingy I can heartily recommend it whether you’re a fan or not. The evenings are usually pretty intimate; you could hear every hushed word during songs at The Basement a couple of years ago. Lloyd himself is pretty comfortable in his own skin and pretty adept at playing up to his grumpy young man (but getting older) persona.


I know from personal experience that this is mostly slight of hand, as he’s actually an exceedingly nice chap. He signed some records and a set list for me after a gig in Toulouse and then he and I got done at babyfoot (table football) by some local fans who were clearly semi-professional. I told this story to my disbelieving French friend who came with me when Lloyd played the same venue six months later. Sure enough Lloyd was up for a bit more babyfoot. This is my friend on the right casually kicking Lloyd’s arse…


It’s worth saying that Lloyd has many, many songs equally good if not better than those on Rattlesnakes – his most famous album with the Commotions. His first eponymous solo effort (also known as ‘X’) is one of my favourite albums and used to make me feel like the oldest 15 year old in town. Check out Don’t Look Back and Undressed for a hint of the times to be had in November.

And finally, whilst we’re talking front men gone solo, Jarvis Cocker is also returning to Australia to play songs from his new album Further Complications. Strangely Cocker is only two years younger than Lloyd Cole yet their imperial phases stand well over a decade apart. It’s unlikely that Jarvis is ready to dip back into the Pulp catalogue but no matter, because Further Complications and 2007’s self-titled contain more than enough songs to entertain.


Jarvis is playing as part of the Meredith Music festival as well as the following dates around Australia:

Sat 5 Dec Brisbane (Hi-Fi Bar)
Mon 7 Dec Sydney (the Metro)
Tues 8 Dec Freemantle (Metropolis)
Thu 10 Dec Adelaide (HQ)
Friday 11 Dec Melbourne (the Forum)

Tickets are available from Ticketek as of... (wait for it...) NOW!

Paul Heaton's Scrapbook

You’ll have to forgive the stream of Housemartins-related posts of late but after a 20-year famine the re-release of London 0 Hull 4 has produced a bit of a ‘martins feast.

I’m still to find a newsagent in Melbourne selling the air freight copy of Mojo with the Housemartins reunion interview. Whilst this is a tad frustrating, I was sated somewhat to discover that the Mojo website currently has a section devoted to Paul Heaton’s scrapbook collection. It should come as no surprise that a man who collected crisp packets would keep a fastidiously-ordered scrapbook of Housemartins-related newspaper cuttings, but there are great rewards to be had from Paul’s OCD tendencies.

His scrapbooks contain everything from cuttings of Norman and Paul’s first band (the Stomping Pond Frogs), record label rejection letters, early Housemartins reviews, Smash Hits and Record Mirror features to a lovely felt-tip picture of the band (replete with a sheep) by a six year old fan. The Housemartins versus The Sun battle (in which the right-wing rag accused them of the 'crimes' of being gay and middle-class out of spite for their open attacks on Thatcher and the monarchy) is all there, as is a lovely piece written just before they split up and giving the reasons why.

I’m not sure how much of the clippings feature in the Mojo magazine article itself (can anyone reading in the UK let me know?) but for those of us waiting for the next clipper to reach the far corners of the Empire this is a nice taster.

Hopelessly Devoted to Them

Of all the ramblings I’ve posted on Mint Custard it’s fair to say that the most read has been June’s piece on the Housemartins mini-reunion for the Radcliffe and Maconie Show and Mojo magazine. Over twenty people a day are still popping by, although I won’t flatter myself that it’s due to the quality of my writing.

However, it does warm the cockles of my heart to know that hundreds of people from all around the world care enough about Paul, Stan, Hugh, Norman and Dave to type ‘Housemartins Reunion’ hopefully into Google, looking for some good news. Sadly for them they end up at my lonely outpost of the internet with no more hope of seeing them play again than they started with. Hopefully they still got the same joys as I did from hearing the interview and seeing the pictures of a band seemingly both proud of and at ease with their past.

Paul, Norman, Hugh and Stan – Summer 2009 (with thanks again to Kipjaz for the photo)

Still, it’s understandable that the band have reservations about playing together again, even for a short while. After all, this is the band who stuck to their three year plan to call it quits at the top with the immortal words 'in an age of Rick Astley, Shakin' Stevens and the Pet Shop Boys, quite simply they weren't good enough.’ Life shouldn’t be lived in the past and reunions are rarely as good as people hope they will be. Still, you can’t help but feel that the personalities involved would ensure this was something special and not a tacky cash-in. One show at the Adelphi in Hull as a benefit would be lovely… as long as I got a ticket.

I still don’t think it will happen, but if there’s anyone from Universal Mercury reading this please take note of the huge amount of goodwill out there for Hull’s finest. They deserve better than the threadbare 2004 Best of and the opportunistic joint Beautiful South compilation Soup and I hope the great reaction to the remastered London 0 Hull 4 shows that any other gems you’ve got hanging around in the archives will be gratefully received. And not just by me…

The September issue of Mojo magazine featuring the Housemartins reunion interview is out now in the UK. It might reach Australia by Christmas… to help pass the time here’s Think for a Minute; my favourite Housemartins video and a great example of why less is always more…

Buy Buy! Sell Sell! Bye Bye!

And in the charity shop
Mrs Brown sits at the counter pricing down some old stock
The Moon's A Balloon, two copies of Every Loser Wins,
Noel's Blobbyland Deluxe Edition
There's not much left on the doorstep recently
Something to do with eBay, Johnny reckons
He's bidding on it now - a Subbuteo catalogue '81-'82
He'll win it, put it in a drawer, and forget he ever bought it
Teenage Winter by Saint Etienne from Tales from Turnpike House (2005)

Has anyone else noticed that eBay is a bit rubbish these days? It used to be that you could find pretty much anything on there – sometimes two of everything - being sold by someone cleaning out their cupboards or just sticking it out there to see what happens. You could pick up strange and interesting items at relatively good prices and feel like you’d actually enjoyed the shopping experience. Increasingly it seems I can never find anything that I want, and on the few occasions that I do it’s at such ridiculous prices that it’s not really worth the effort. When did eBay stop being fun and become just another way to sell things?

Part of the problem seems to be that there are far fewer private sellers online. Most eBay listings are put up by shop owners or people running online businesses. These ‘power-sellers’ may be an inevitable consequence of such an open marketplace but having flooded the site they take away the fun of random browsing which used to make eBay so interesting.

More disappointingly the range of things for sale on eBay seems to have shrunk. To give you an idea I occasionally have a little search for Housemartins curios. Over the years I’ve seen (and sometimes won) original posters from the eighties, their out-of-print biography, deleted VHS cassettes and even a special embossed badge to mark a gig that they did to support miners during the strikes. These days I’m lucky to find anything apart from the usual second hand CDs and records – all of which makes me less inspired to visit the site for window-shopping.

My own theory on the decline of eBay is that we’ve come to the end of a five-year long global episode of Multi-Coloured Swap Shop. For those who didn’t grow up in the UK in the late seventies and early eighties Swap Shop was a Saturday morning children’s TV variety show where kids could bring along unwanted belongings and literally swap with other children for something they wanted more. The initial popularity of eBay led to something similar where we all rummaged through our unwanted things, chucked them up into cyberspace and waited for them to land in someone else’s cupboards. Meanwhile we thought about those things that we’d always wanted – a film you haven’t seen for years, perhaps a rare toy Smurf to finally finish a frustratingly incomplete collection – and found them with glee amongst other peoples’ rubbish. Maybe now we’ve all completed our various collections we have no more need for eBay. Childhood dreams have been fulfilled, nerdy collecting instincts sated; job done.

It’s probably also true that people also got smart to eBay. Where there’s muck there’s brass and people are much slower now to give up on their junk without realising its full market value. Much like those second hand and vintage shops full of retro knick-knacks that the owners pick up in charity shops for $1 and then sell on for $30, eBay sellers have become adept at sorting the wheat from the chaff and there are fewer true bargains to be found. I’m sure they’d say that they’re only making a crust but charity shops and car boot sales were the last bastions of not-for-profit shopping until this decade and I wanna go at these people like a ninja Jesus in the temple.

There are still happy stories to be had from eBay, as my recent score of Bizzy Buzzy Bumbles will attest, but the glory days already seem long behind us. This might be a good thing; my cupboards are still full of crap – only now it’s other people’s second-hand crap – that I had to pay for. Perhaps it’s time to step outside of the rosy glow of nostalgia and live in the here and now? Maybe – but if anyone has a cheap Star Wars Land of the Jawas Action Playset they don’t want then feel free to get in touch.

Housemartins United!

Great thing this here t’internet – I reckon it’ll go far…  I was looking around for a press release for the reissued London 0 Hull 4 (see yesterday) and discovered there was a virtual Housemartins reunion and I knew nothing about it. Paul and Stan did an interview together with Mark Radcliffe on Radio 2 – there’s a picture and everything! 

Sadly the broadcast has been taken down already, so an enormous tip of the hat and a hearty pat on the back to Cassette Archive for uploading the whole shindig.

(L-R) Stan Cullimore, Mark Radcliffe, Paul Heaton, Stuart Maconie (courtesy of BBC Radio 2)

Apparently they also did an interview for Mojo magazine along with Hugh and Norman and it was the first time they've all been in the same room for 22 years. For me this is akin to John Lennon and George Harrison rising from the dead and I'll admit to getting all emotional hearing Stan and Paul talking about the band so openly and so warmly. 

It was interesting to hear that the stumbling block for any possible reunion is more perception of naffness a-la-Eighties-reunion-comeback-tours (as Mark Radcliffe put it, nipping out to do Happy Hour in between Toyah and Rick Astley) rather than any animosity or general arse-iness like there is between Ian Brown and John Squire or Morrissey and Marr.  No one wants a Housemartins arena tour anyway - even a couple of concerts like the ones Lloyd Cole and the Commotions did for the 20th anniversary of Rattlesnakes would be enough for me to go to my grave happy.  

Of course band-reforming is evil and wrong… but this is the Housemartins and I’ll walk to Hull from Australia if it ever happens… So come on Norman – put your records down for a day, drive over to Hugh’s house, pick up Paul and Stan on the way and let’s get this show on the road. 

If Liking Them is Wrong I Don't Want to Be Right

It would be rude of me not to share the news that London 0 Hull 4, the debut album by the Housemartins, has just been rereleased as a remastered Deluxe Edition double CD package. Sadly, I can offer no reliable advice whether you should buy this album because I love the Housemartins a bit too much and have no capacity for discerning between my feelings and the quality of their work. But I'm sure it's ace.

I can tell you that Flag Day, Freedom, Get Up off Our Knees, Sheep, Anxious and Think for a Minute (fast and slow versions) mean as much to me as the more celebrated Happy Hour. And We’re Not Deep beats them all hands down.

For the totally uninitiated, musically London 0 Hull 4 is a jaunty, jangly pop album punctuated with the odd piano driven gospel-inspired number. Peppered with the barbershop harmonies they became famous for after Caravan of Love (not included here) it doesn’t try to be arty or cool like their more lauded eighties indie contemporaries which only added to their purposefully dorky appeal.

Gently simmering under the surface are Paul (then P.d.) Heaton's biting and often very funny lyrics railing against greed (Anxious), apathy (Get Up off Our Knees, Sitting on a Fence), sexism (Happy Hour), the herd mentality (Sheep), the right wing press (Freedom), self-righteous hypocrisy (Flag Day) and the death of communities (Think for a Minute). Just to seal the deal an inscription inside says 'don't try gate crashing a party full of bankers. burn the house down.' Admittedly not everyone’s mug of tea but definitely one of my favourite brews.

That said, the CD version of London 0 Hull 4 I grew up with (“16 songs – 17 hits!”) always felt a bit imbalanced by the retrospective addition of three gospel covers. As much as I like them they add to the view that their a capella Jesus period had greater significance than was the case. You only have to watch the video for Caravan of Love or listen to the ‘sermonette’ on b-side Heaven Help Us All to know that they were taking the piss a bit, even if their love of a capella was totally genuine (they once supported themselves at a gig as the Fish City Five, performing only a capella).

The lure of remastering and the chance to get hold of the early b-sides on compact disc are enough for me to part with my money but in truth the disc of b-sides, live tracks and radio sessions is a little disappointing – especially as many of the tracks are already available across 1988’s excellent Now That’s What I Call Quite Good and 2006’s Live at the BBC. It would have been more interesting to include some of the better unreleased songs from their Demostatic or Themes for the Well Dressed Man bootlegs. Maybe Paul and Stan just don’t like them. Better still would have been a DVD of peak period Housemartins with film clips, live performances and especially the London 0 Hull 4 documentary featuring Hugh’s guide to toast and a tour of the local bun shop by Stan. Hopefully next time.

There is no anniversary to mark (the album was first released in 1986, with the band splitting two years later) so it’s not clear why this reissue is coming out now. It could have been prompted by the London 0 Hull 4-themed sports headlines in 2008 when Hull City were flying high in the Premiership and beat four London teams on the trot. But I doubt it.

Anyway, if you don’t have this album, then yes, buy now. You won’t be disappointed and you'll discover a few gems for your shuffle playlist. This is the sound of a totally original band, completely out of step with everything and happy to remain that way. However for those short on cash I’d be tempted to find a cheap copy of Now That’s What I Call Quite Good and join me in waiting for the eventual release of the goodies that the band and/or record label are still sitting on, including hopefully a remastered People Who Grinned Themselves to Death.

London 0 Hull 4 (Deluxe Edition) Tracklisting

DISC 1 (original album)
Happy Hour - Get Up Off Our Knees - Flag Day – Anxious - Reverends Revenge - Sitting On A Fence – Sheep - Over There - Think For A Minute - We’re Not Deep - Lean On Me - Freedom

DISC 2
1. Flag Day (original single version) 2. Stand At Ease (Flag Day B-side) 3. You (Flag Day B-side) 4. Coal Train To Hatfield Main (Flag Day B-side) 5. I’ll Be Your Shelter (Sheep B-side) 6. People Get Ready (Sheep B-side) 7. Drop Down Dead (Sheep B-side) 8. The Mighty Ship (Happy Hour B-side) 9. He Ain’t Heavy (Happy Hour B-side) 10. Think For A Minute (original single version) 11. Who Needs The Limelight (Think For A Minute B-side) 12. I Smell Winter (Think For A Minute B-side) 13. Joy Joy Joy (Think For A Minute B-side) 14. Rap Around The Clock (Think For A Minute B-side) 15. Lean On Me (unreleased outtake) 16. Anxious (Janice Long BBC session 6/11/85) 17. We’re Not Deep (Janice Long BBC session 6/11/85) 18. Freedom (Janice Long BBC session 6/11/85) 19. Think For A Minute (Saturday Live BBC session 4/1/86) 20. Drop Down Dead (Saturday Live BBC session 4/1/86) 21. Happy Hour (John Peel BBC session 6/4/86) 22. Get Up Off Our Knees (John Peel BBC session 6/4/86)

Be Careful What You Wish For

Some news that will likely slip under the world’s radar (indeed I only found out several weeks after the event) but apparently the Beautiful South have reformed - sort of. Two years after their official split and twenty years after their first incarnation was unleashed on the world, some of Hull’s second finest have decided that enough wasn’t enough and have become (wait for it) the New Beautiful South. I say some, because technically the only original members will be drummer Dave Stead and Dave Hemingway, singer and erstwhile second drummer of the Housemartins. They will be joined by Alison Wheeler, the last of the South’s three female vocalists (the one who never sang on any of their hits). So, there’s no Jacqui Abbott, no Sean Welch on bass, no Dave Rotheray on guitar and no Paul Heaton; the groups eccentric leader and, with Rotheray, chief songwriter.

It’s a path well-trod by many other bands - including cabaret circuit versions of Motown bands (checkout the website for the Drifters – precisely no original members!), glam stompers (Slade II - all Dave, no Noddy!) and ska revivalists (especially Neville Staples’ Specials - though it should be noted that the current ‘official’ Terry-Hall-included Specials doesn’t feature Jerry Dammers). Other higher profile car-crashes include the reality TV horrors undertaken by iNXS (I see that JD Fortune recently got the boot… poor love) and, lest we forget the original grave robbers, Queen. However, the New Beautiful South are unique in that they fulfill a prophecy created at their inception.

The Beautiful South circa 1989

Tired of the attention given to him as lead singer of the Housemartins, Heaton quite liked the idea of having more than one singer to front the Beautiful South. As well as offering some musical diversity, having three singers (theoretically at least) took some of the focus off him. On several occasions he half-joked that he saw the band as a franchise that he would leave when established. As Paul told NME spin-off Vox Magazine in 1992, “I was hoping to gradually wean myself out of the band, but I don't think they're ready for that - and it doesn't look like they will be for a while". Well, it only took 20 years and a second try at a solo career by Heaton but it looks like the kids are ready to flee the nest.

To be fair to Dave Hemingway, he has a great voice, and the South had plenty of good songs that didn’t feature Heaton. In fact for a while it was a bit of joke that any song featuring Paul on lead vocal would flop, evidenced by their biggest hit – A Little Time – being a #1 duet between Dave and Brianna Corrigan, followed up by Paul’s autobiographical My Book, getting to number 43. To be honest, what else are they going to do after 20 years in the same band? Said Hemmingway: "Dave, Alison and I wanted to continue. We've been twiddling our thumbs for a while, but this is what we do best." That cabaret circuit just got a little fuller.

THE NEW BEAUTIFUL SOUTH will perform at the Welly Club in Hull on 29 March 2009.