All That Glitters

So you might have noticed that there's going to be some large scale competitive sports thingy going on next week. Whilst Centrelinked hates any kind of bandwagon jumping and would never try to make any self-serving connection with 'the Games' that hadn't been authorised personally by Lord Sebastian of Coe himself and signed in his own blue blood, we thought what the hell and had a golden theme. Tunes were:  

• Fools Gold – Stone Roses
• The Golden Age – TV On the Radio
• Gold Soundz – Pavement
• LES Artists - Santogold
• Gold – XTC
• Band of Gold - Freda Payne
• I am the Black Gold of the Sun – Nu-Yorican Soul
• All That Glitters – Death in Vegas
• What’s Golden – Jurassic 5
• Gold and Silver – Toots and the Maytals
• I’ve Got a Golden Ticket - Charlie and (lazy) Grandpa Joe
• Sunlight Bathed the Golden Glow - Felt
• The Golden Age of Aviation – the Lucksmiths
• The Golden Age of Nicotine – Custard
• Heart of Gold – Neil Young
• Golden Earrings – Peggy Lee
• Golden Slumbers – the Beatles
• Goldfinger – Shirley Bassey
• The Man with the Golden Gun - Lulu
• Gold Digger - Kanye West and Jamie Foxx
• Golden Years – David Bowie
• The Golden Path – the Chemical Brothers and Wayne Coyne
• Oh La La - Goldfrapp
• Gold – Spandau Ballet
• Theme from the Golden Girls (Thank You for Being a Friend)

There are so many others that could have been played but for reasons of length (like James' rather mental 7 minutes of Goldmother) and highly restricted availability (Gruff Rhys' 2012 Record Store Day limited 7" Gold Medal Winner) we had to leave it there. Feel free to leave your own personal golden nuggets in the comments below...


Centrelinked - Saturday's 11am on 98.9 North West FM (www.northwestfm.org) 

Ecoutez et Repetez

Something slightly different on Centrelinked this week as we celebrated Bastille Day with a few French tunes to get folks in the right frame of mind. I was never going to be able to cover a century of chanson in 45 minutes so it was a case of playing a few personal French favourites. And Joe le Taxi. 


This is what went to air (with some reasons why if you like that kind of thing)...


Ces Bottes Sont Faites Pour Marcher - Eileen: French versions of English songs were all the rage in the 1960s (with some coming the other way such as My Way/Comme d'habitude) and Eileen's take on These Boots are Made for Walkin' is still one of the better Franglais floor fillers from 'les Années Ye-Ye.'


Joe le Taxi - Vanessa Paradis: not strictly one of my favourite French songs but included because it represents the first time I was ever encouraged to listen to pop music by a school teacher. Without Mlle Paradis I might never have taken the time to listen to other French music so she deserves some kudos for that (although not for the terrible dancing in the film clip). 


Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi - Jacques Dutronc: One half of the most beautiful couple in French pop, Jacques Dutronc is so ace he's even included in the lyrics for Brimful of Asha. Other notable hits include Les Cactus and the Spencer Davis-esque Le Responsable but it's Et Moi's... kooky commentary on Parisian existentialism ("50 million Vietnamese, and me and me and me... I think about it then I forget about it") that I come back to most.  


Comment Te Dire Adieu - Francoise Hardy: although more famous than her husband, Mrs Dutronc is as much known for her unquestionable beauty as she is for her music. The gentle Tous les Garcons et les Filles was her biggest hit but Comment te Dire Adieu is a slightly jauntier affair. It's actually another French language adaptation - Serge Gainsbourg creating new lyrics for It Hurts to Say Goodbye. The favour was returned by a solo Jimmy Somerville who covered the French version in 1989.


Noir et Blanc - Brigitte Bardot: if you can get past the eccentric old racist she became there is always something genuinely thrilling about seeing BB in action. It's like watching a James Dean or Marilyn Monroe film instead of just seeing them on airbrushed posters in IKEA, with Bardot every bit as iconic in French culture as Monroe and Dean are to the USA. She can sing and dance a bit too as I found out watching Divine BB, an anthology of her music from 50s show tunes to psychedlic collaborations with Serge Gainsbourg. The black and white clips are a revelation, with Noir et Blanc starting as Carry On-like call and response about getting attention from men but morphing into a cautionary tale of BB's blackened soul in less than 2 minutes.


7 heures du Matin - Jacqueline Taieb: I discovered this tale of French teenage life in the Sixties from a great compilation called Pop a Paris which gives a good representation of Ye-Ye music. I especially like it for her singing along to English and American bands (notable Elvis and the Who), her lustful thoughts about Paul McCartney and the important discussion about toothbrushes...


Le Poinconneur des Lilas - Serge Gainsbourg: always one of my favourite Serge songs, it was given new life when I discovered this 1958 film clip, complete with full lyrics in English. Please watch it. You'll be glad you did. If I'm ever asked to present Rage this will be first up.  


Favourite Song - Vincent Delerm (avec Neil Hannon): a disarmingly sweet take on cross-channel relations which sees Delerm and the Divine Comedy's frontman singing in each other's language about listening to foreign language pop songs as teens and not understanding a word. Sandwiched here because of Hannon's pleading "Un poinconneur des lilas? What does that mean?" (see above).


Requiem pour un Con - Serge Gainsbourg: even playing two songs doesn't do Gainsbourg's legacy justice, but between Poinconneur and Requiem (1968) you at least get an idea of the musical journey he made in less than a decade. From arch Camus-infused chanson traditionelle to nasty proto-hip hop beats in the blink of an eye, it's not unreasonable to view Serge as an equal peer of the Beatles at this time. His Frog Chorus moments were to come but by then his mark was well and truly made.   

Goutes mes Frites - Valerie Lemercier: back in 1995 Lemercier was most famous for being the rather shrill woman in the time travel movie Les Visiteurs who hollers "Hugggggg" to great comic effect. I'm not sure what led her to record an album of songs but this tale of sisterly support over a bowl of chips has remained a favourite of mine ever since. 


Non Non Non Non (Je Ne Suis Plus Saoul) - Miossec: another one from the school of '95 Christophe Miossec exploded into the consciousness of French music fans with Boire, an album of short, simple, grown up songs played with an raw intensity. Think Lloyd Cole played by Arcade Fire with some gallic instrumentation and you're partway there. 'No No No No (I'm Not Drunk Anymore)' is one of the lighter numbers on Boire. It's that good.


Vous - Camille: despite a sizable audience for French film in Australia, Camille Dalmais is one of the few French language artists to have broken through into Australian popular culture. Her album Le Fil was a standout in 2005 with Ta Douleur even making the JJJ Hottest 100. That doesn't happen with many non-English language songs, never mind ones with such unique instrumentation as these. I picked Vous because I had 45 minutes and it is short, but it is a neat example of the album as a whole. 


Johnny Rep - Mickey 3D: Johnny Rep was a gangly Dutch footballer who played in the famous Holland teams of the 1970s, as well as alongside superstars like Michel Platini at Saint Etienne. He shares a similar kind of cult place in European footballing culture as George Best and Robin Friday but without the drink and drugs. I mention this to explain why this indie strummer by (the terribly-named band) Mickey 3D breaks into football commentary over a piano accordion riff half way through. Still, you don't need to speak French to know it's a great song.   


L'Empire du Cote Obscure - I AM: there is a long and wonderful tradition of French language hip hop which has given a voice to generations of French youth in ways traditional French music never could. Sadly I don't know anything about it, apart from people love MC Solaar. However, I can tell you that if you stick samples from Star Wars to a huge bass line and your rhymes is dope [(c) "the kidz"] then I'll lap it up in spades. I AM's tune also offers a cute linguistic lesson; references to 'Dark Vador' a reminder that French people don't do "th" sounds. Que la Force soit avec toi...


Rue St Vincent - Yves Montand: what better way to conclude than with France's very own Frank Sinatra? Montand was already a world famous crooner and actor when I first saw him as the despicable Cesar in Jean de Florette and Manon des Sources. He reminded me of my Grandpa, but a mean version. Who knew then that a man behind such a performance of bastardry could produce one of the most perfect songs of love ever recorded. It was another film - Wes Anderson's Rushmore - that brought this song to me and I'm glad I can now reconcile the two sides of Yves in my head. Rue St Vincent's simple beauty is only rivaled by Donovan's Sunny Goodge Street  in my affections. Lush.    


Here's a couple more that I love just as much but just didn't have time for: 


Ondule - Mathieu Boogaerts: real time videos are a bit two a penny now but this one from 1995 has always stayed with me, with Monsieur Boogaerts launching his career with a well timed hair cut and close shave. Imagine if it had gone wrong. But it doesn't. Great little lo-fi tune too. 


Le Deserteur / J'suis Snob - Boris Vian: Le Deserteur was played to us at school by our French teacher Mr Hargreaves as a listening exercise. This is probably because Vian enunciates his reasons for declining an offer to join the army with such clarity that even us with our basic French could understand every word he said. Still, it's always stayed with me and it led me to other Vian numbers like the gauche J'suis Snob which is a far better song but probably not the best for impressionable Yorkshire teenagers.


Des Attractions Desastres - Etienne Daho: in the UK Daho is mostly known for his gimmicky collaboration with Pete, Bob and Sarah on He's On the Phone as 'Saint Etienne Daho' but he was a star in his own right in France, especially after the success of the album Paris Ailleurs, from which this is the opening track. Comme Un Igloo from the same album is equally ace. It's grown up pop music, which I guess is what attracted the Saints to work with him in the first place. 


Mathilde - Jacques Brel: another staple of gallic cool, inspiring Gainsbourg, Scott Walker, Marc Almond, Jarvis Cocker and especially Neil Hannon, Brel is an icon of French chanson. My own introduction to Brel came courtesy of a young lady called (yes) Mathilde, who was horrified that I had no Brel in my collection and bought me a Best Of for my birthday. Listen when you need a bit of thunderously paced high drama in your day.  


C'est Le Vent, Betty - Gabriel Yared: I was a little young for the Betty Blue phenomenon that affected many (mostly male) students in the late 1980s but I will admit to a healthy interest in the famous movie poster, a copy of which was to be found in my best friend's brothers room when we were growing up. I suspect I'm not the only person who can visualise Beatrice Dalle's lips on request without hesitation. When I was old enough to watch the film itself (known as 37.2 Degrees le Matin in France) it wasn't just Mlle Dalle that stuck in the memory thanks to Gabriel Yared's haunting soundtrack. Rolling piano refrains and reverb heavy electric guitar can sound a little dated now, but it still transports me back to the world of Betty and Zorg and their little beach hut. Just before Betty burns it to the ground. 

****
The astute amongst you will have noticed a distinct lack of French dance music in this list. These duties were ably fulfilled by Mrs Custard on her show immediately after mine with more Air, Daft Punk, Cassius, Bob Sinclair and Stereolab than you can shake a baguette at. Just goes to show why you need to tune in to 98.8 North West FM on Saturday mornings. 


Anyway, joyeux 14 Juillet to you all. Hope you had a great one, wherever you are. Normal Centrelinked service will resume next week with an Olympic inspired show about GOLD!

Hot Dogs

"I'm taking the advice of Theodore Roosevelt: speak softly and carry a beagle"

Miss Sally Brown (sister of Charlie Brown), Peanuts, 1974

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Centrelinked that's who, as we paid tribute to canine companions in song. There are more songs about dogs than things that our dog will eat (he'll eat anything) so we only dipped our paw in the water bowl of pooch paeans, but they were all good boys rather than bad dogs. These were the numbers that set tails a-wagging...

- I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges

- I Want a Dog - Pet Shop Boys

- Walking the Dog - the Rolling Stones

- Hey Bulldog - the Beatles

- Golden Retriever - Super Furry Animals

- Poodle Rockin' - Gorkys Zygotic Mynci

- Hound Dog - Betty Everett

- Dog Eat Dog - Adam and the Ants

- Do the Dog - the Specials

- Dogs are the Best People - the Fauves

- Black Eyed Dog - Nick Drake

- Dogwood Blossom - Fionn Regan

We hosted to our very first studio invasion as Max, an 11 year old Jack Russell terrier came into the studio with his owner Colin who happened to be listening nearby. Time devoted to Max meant we didn't get to play any Snoop Dogg or any of these splendid numbers:

- Can Your Pussy do the Dog - the Cramps

- Jenny and the Ess-Dog - Stephen Malkmus

- Dog's Got a Bone - the Beta Band

- Black Dog - Led Zeppelin

- Essex Dogs - Blur

- Dogs are Everywhere - Pulp

- Diamond Dogs - David Bowie

- Dog Without  Wings - Kathryn Williams

- Black Dog on My Shoulder - Manic Street Preachers

A special mention for the backing music this week which came courtesy of Cat Stevens (oh, the irony) and his ridiculously ahead of its time 1977 electronic number Was Dog a Doughnut?  Yes, it really is Cat Stevens. 

And finally big thanks to @oilyshoes for suggesting Pink Floyd's Seamus and to @hevidutihamma for suggestions of Florence and the Machine's Dog Days are Over and 2Pac's Wonder Why They Call U Bitch which clearly would have been too potty mouthed for Centrelinked but hey, the kids are the kids...

Centrelinked is on your wireless at 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. Listen from wherever you are by visiting www.northwestfm.org or listen on Tune In (www.TuneIn.com).

Remember you can play along during the week on Tw*tter via @mintcustard or #centrelinked or add your comments after each show below. Tata. 

Under Pressure

Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.
Nervous tension can cause you to lack confidence in yourself,
To lose your powers of concentration and to be inefficient in your work.
Nervous tension can prevent you from relaxing, can spoil your leisure hours,
And rob you of the sleep you need at night.
The mind remains tense when it is restlessly turning over personal problems,
Worrying about financial matters, or the conflicts of daytime employment, or
Fretting over the troubles of the world.
Lemon Jelly - Nervous Tension (1998)

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!”

Dr Peter Venkman, a Ghostbuster

As Rudyard Kipling once noted, the ability to keep your head when all around you are losing theirs is not a bad one to have. Yet it seems that leaders at every level around the world have lost their respective plots.  With Venkman-esque predictions about the imminent collapse of western civilisation reported on a daily basis no wonder we’re all feeling a little frazzled and put upon in 2012. Consequently this week Centrelinked was here to offer the stressed a shoulder to sob on, and the pressured time to unwind. Remember, you’re not alone (because they’re always watching you...)  

Here’s what got played:       

- Paranoid – Black Sabbath

- First Day – the Futureheads

- The Sound of Fear - Eels

- Anxious – the Housemartins

- Panic – the Smiths

- Nervous Tension – Lemon Jelly

- Pressure on Julian – Blur

- Under Pressure – David Bowie and Queen

- Panic Plants – the Lovely Eggs

- Fitter Happier - Radiohead

- The Fear – Pulp

- The Fear – Lily Allen

- Don’t You Worry About a Thing – Stevie Wonder

And what we didn’t have time for because our bosses were working us too hard and we got scared and had to go home sick

- Nervous Breakdance – Custard

- Stressed Out – A Tribe Called Quest

- 19th Nervous Breakdown – The Rolling Stones

Centrelinked is on your radio thanks to 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. Listen where’er you may wander via www.northwestfm.org or those good folks at www.TuneIn.com

Play along during the week on Tw*tter via @mintcustard or #centrelinked.  

One Lump or Two?

My favourite part of this week’s Centrelinked came during our first community announcement break. On a sugar-themed show, and having just played the Archies’ most famous number a somber voice came on to warn North West FM listeners of the perils of diabetes. This was swiftly followed by the Four Tops’ Sugar Pie Honey Bunch which, when I was a kid was used in an advert for Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, one of the most sugary cereals on the market. You couldn’t make it up etc.

The other spoonfuls of sugar helping the Centrelinked medicine go down were…     

Brown Sugar – the Rolling Stones

Hit – the Sugarcubes

Spin Spin Sugar – Sneaker Pimps

Sugar Sugar – the Archies

I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) – the Four Tops

Rappers Delight – the Sugarhill Gang

Sugarman – Rodriguez

I Want Some Sugar in My Bowl – Nina Simone

If I Can’t Change Your Mind – Sugar

Lips Like Sugar – Echo and the Bunnymen

Sugartown – Nancy Sinatra

Pour Some Sugar on Me – Def Leppard

Things I ran out of time for included Beth Orton’s Sugar Boy, Neil Young’s Sugar Mountain and something by the Sugababes. Thanks to whoever texted in for Def Leppard after 30 seconds. You and I are now related.

Fans of Rodriguez should keep an eye out for Searching for Sugar Man, a 2012 documentary film about two South Africans who go looking for the man who provided the background music to their youth during apartheid. It looks rather splendid. Check out Rodriguez’ website www.sugarman.org for more on the film and the man himself.

Centrelinked is on 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. You can listen where’er you may be via www.northwestfm.org or via Tune In radio. 


Next week: anxiety attack!

Follicular Spectacular

"I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight." 

Danny the dealer, Withnail and I 

Hair. You've either got it or you haven't. This week on Centrelinked we spent 45 hirsute minutes whipping our hair back and forth across your radio dial in celebration of hair dos and don'ts. This is what got played...


Devils Haircut - Beck
Jesus Hairdo - the Charlatans
Greetings to the New Brunette - Billy Bragg
Bernice Bobs Her Hair - the Divine Comedy
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Almost Cut My Hair - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
Hair - the Cowsills
Ice Hockey Hair - Super Furry Animals
Diana's Hair - Let's Wrestle
Take the Skinheads Bowling - Campervan Beethoven
Wig in a Box - Hedwig and the Angry Inch


And here's some more songs about hair we didn't have time for:


Black Hair - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Let it Down - George Harrison
Hair - Finishing School
Hairdresser on Fire - Morrissey
La Jeune Fille aux Cheveux Blancs - Camille
Freda (with the Naturally Curly Hair) - Vince Guaraldi 
Oh! Mr Hairdresser - Vic Reeves 


and lest we forget the combined works of the Long Blondes, Blondie and the Hair Bear Bunch.  Not their total combined works obviously. That's a small Venn diagram.


Any additions then? Feel free to posit your tuppenceworth in the comments box. Ta.


Centrelinked, every Saturday from 11am on 98.9 North West FM (www.northwestm.org). Play along each week via @mintcustard and #centrelinked

Douze Points

In case you hadn't noticed, it was Eurovision weekend. Whilst most people couldn't give nul points, in some corners of Australia (including this one) dedicated Eurovististas were turning off the internet, avoiding the news and trying to get through the day Likely Lads-style without hearing the result. 


To celebrate Centrelinked decided to go on a quick Contiki-style jaunt around Europe in our musical combi-van, cramming as many countries and cities into 45 minutes as we could. Here's where we went:


Berlin Chair - You Am I
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might be Giants
Do the Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
Amsterdam - Peter, Bjorn and John
Barcelona - Giulia y los Tellarini
Roam - the B-52s
Young Parisians - Adam and the Ants
Ask - The Smiths
Vienna - Ultravox
Norwegian Wood - Cornershop
Dukla Prague Away Kit - Half Man Half Biscuit
Miss Sarajevo - Passengers


We ran out of time for the Reindeer Section's Budapest and the Beautiful South's Rotterdam which was a shame. Maybe next time. Thanks to my first caller too for ringing up and suggesting We're Going to Ibiza by the Vengaboys. You have no idea how happy your request for that terrible song made me. If I could pay for you to go to Ibiza just for ringing I would...  

Silent and Grey

Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"

Alan Partridge - I’m Alan Partridge – To Kill A Mocking Alan

According to Morrissey, everyday is like Sunday. This is just as well because this week Centrelinked chose to pay tribute to the week's sleepiest day 24 hours early with 90 minutes of songs about Sunday. There were Sundays lazy, bloody and blue and all these in-between...

• Lazy Sunday – Small Faces
• Sunday Girl – Blondie
• Better than Sunday – Ladyhawke
• Sunday’s Pretty Icons – Belle and Sebastian
• Sunday Morning – Aluminum Group
• Sunday Morning – James
• Grandma’s Hands – Bill Withers
• Sunday Kind of Love – Etta James
• Sunday Sun – Beck
• Blue Sunday – the Doors
• Sunday Sunday – Blur
• It Always Rains on Sunday – The Groove Farm
• Pleasant Valley Sunday – The Monkees
• Summertime – the Sundays
• Everyday is like Sunday – Morrissey
• A Sunday Smile – Beirut
• Sunday Bloody Sunday (live) – U2
• Field Day for the Sundays – Wire
• Sunday to Saturday – the June Brides
• Sunday Morning Coming Down – Johnny Cash
• Where Do I Begin? – Chemical Brothers with Beth Orton
• Sunday Morning – Velvet Underground
• Stars on Sunday – All Seeing Eye

As always feel free to add to the list using the comments below...  Centrelinked will be back on your wireless next Saturday from 11am on 98.9 North West FM 

Making Your Mind Up

As those Eurovision legends and fans of primary colours, Bucks Fizz once said, ‘don’t let your indecision take you from behind.’ Fair advice for the fence sitters out there – folks paralysed by fear of making a decision, happy to tinker round the edges without making a plunge. Yes I’m talking about you, politicians…

This week Centrelinked tried to help listeners to make their minds up with songs about indecision. This is what got played:

• Should I Stay or Should I Go – The Clash
• I Don’t Know What I Want us to Do – Peter, Bjorn and John
• I Don’t Know What to Do With My Life – The Buzzcocks
• I Can’t Decide – Scissor Sisters
• Making Your Mind Up – Bucks Fizz
• Rise – Public Image Limited
• I Changed My Mind - Quanuum
• I Don’t Know – Bill Withers
• I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself – Dusty Springfield
• Dawn Can’t Decide – the Lemonheads
• Just When You’re Thinking Things Over – The Charlatans
• Que Sera Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be) – Doris Day


Requested and Also Rans
• Possibly Maybe – Bjork
• Keep an Open Mind or Else – Mccarthy
• If I Can’t Change Your Mind – Sugar
• Have You Made up Your Mind – Paul Weller
• Can’t Be Sure – the Sundays

Centrelinked - Saturday mornings from 11am on 98.9 North West FM Listen live on your wireless or stream at www.northwestfm.org

You can join in by texting the studio on 0 44 77 77 989 or on Twitter using @mintcustard or @northwestfmmelb and the hastag #centrelinked.

MCA RIP

'I Want To Say a Little Something That's Long Overdue
The Disrespect To Women Has Got To Be Through
To All The Mothers And The Sisters And The Wives And Friends
I Want To Offer My Love And Respect To The End'
The Beastie Boys - Sure Shot

Normal Centrelinked service was suspended this week as we learned about the sad passing of Adam Yauch from the Beastie Boys about an hour before going on air. 

  
It seemed only right that we ditch our usual rubbish and use our time more wisely, paying tribute to the man better known as MCA by devoting the show to the genius of Brooklyn's finest. This was our kit bag, and this is what got played:


- The Biz v the Nuge (Check Your Head)
- Sabotage (Ill Communication) 
- Shadrach (Paul's Boutique)
- 3 MCs and 1 DJ (Hello Nasty)
- Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win (Hot Sauce Committee Pt 2) 
- Ch-Ch-Check It Out (To the Five Boroughs)
- Body Movin' (Fat Boy Slim Remix)
- Girls (Licenced to Ill)
- Sure Shot (Ill Communication)
- Song for the Man (Hello Nasty) 
- So Whatcha Want (feat Cypress Hill)


Vale, MCA. Love and respect to the end. 

Know Your Chicken

Centrelinked is typically a vegetarian affair (with the occasional fish finger sandwich thrown in as and when required) but that doesn't mean we close our minds. This week we decided to follow Cibo Matto's advice and get to Know Your Chicken. What we had therefore was 45 minutes of chicken tunes, interspersed with a pot pourri of poulet trivia.


These are the finger lickin' nuggets that went to air:

Chicken Payback - the Bees
Mansize Rooster - Supergrass
Chick Habit - April March
Choppers - Headless Chickens
Chicken with its Head Cut Off - Magnetic Fields
Chicken - the Cramps
Chicken Dog - Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
5 Piece Chicken Dinner - The Beastie Boys
Do The Funky Chicken - Rufus Thomas
Chicken Strut - The Meters
Know Your Chicken - Cibo Matto
Chicken Hearted - Roy Orbison
The Chicken Song - Spitting Image
Take It Easy Chicken - Mansun


And these, for posterity, were those important chicken facts. Some of them were even true. 

• Chicken Little is Stewart Little's Dad
• In 2001 chicken tikka masala was voted the most popular restaurant meal in the UK 
• The latin term for chicken is gallus gallus domesticus, inspired by Boutros Boutros Ghali, the former secretary general of the United Nations 
• A chicken ran onto the pitch during the first ever game of football, tripping up a player - hence the word 'foul'
• Chickens are omnivores and in the wild will hunt seeds, insects and - when hunting in packs - they can take out a wolf
• More than 50 billion chickens are raised every year for meat and eggs. This is more than 7 eggs for every human on the planet. The chickens that understand these numbers are kept in cages by scared farmers.
• Chicken Run, the claymation movie about a group of hens who make an aeroplane from scrap furniture to escape being turned into pies is based on a true story about pigs  
• Although most chicken lay eggs, some can be trained to lay other things such as logs, bricks and the truth

Centrelinked is on your Melbourne wireless on 98.9 Northwest FM every Saturday morning from 11am. You can also stream live via www.northwestfm.org. If you want...

Saucerful of Secrets

This week Centrelinked encouraged listeners to unlock their diaries, share their log in details and enter the 98.9 North West FM confessional booth to share some songs about Secrets. This was the soundtrack to their unloading:

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret - Queens of the Stone Age

No Secrets - The Angels

Little Secrets - Passion Pit

Do You Want To Know a Secret - the Beatles

Secret Kiss - The Coral

Secret - Madonna

Confide in Me - Kylie Minogue

Secret Vampires - Bis

Can U Keep a Secret - De La Soul

Secret Agent - Tony Allen

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - John Barry (though with more time this version by the Propellerheads might have made the cut too 

Secret for a Song - Mercury Rev

Secret Love - Doris Day

The Key, The Secret - Urban Cookie Collective

Of course the very best song about secrets is this one from 1973 but sadly we're not allowed to play it on the radio. Feel free to leave any dirty little secrets of your own using the comments below

Centrelinked - Saturday mornings from 10.30am on 98.9 North West FM (northwestfm.org)Next week's theme - Chicken! Feel free to join in using @mintcustard or @northwestfmmelb and #centrelinked. 

Rise of the Machines

This week Centrelinked picked up one of Mint Custard's biggest fears - the destruction of mankind by robots - and ran with it, albeit with an awkward clanky gait and certainly not up any stairs. 45 minutes of airtime were devoted to automated android propaganda. This is what they played:


Robot Rock - Daft Punk
Robot - Futureheads
Do The Robot - The Saints
Intergalactic - Beastie Boys
Robots (the Humans are Dead) - Flight of the Conchords
We're in Business - Andrew Thompson
Robot Song - Kenickie
One Robot - Rocket Science
Robot Man - the Aliens
I am a Robot - Rhys Muldoon
Astro Boy Theme
The Robots - Kraftwerk


Centrelinked - Saturday mornings from 11am (Melbourne time) on 98.9 North West FM (northwestfm.org)

Next week's theme - dirty little Secret - Feel free to join in using @mintcustard or @northwestfmmelb and #centrelinked

Make Em Laugh

It's Melbourne International Comedy Festival time here in Australia and Centrelinked tried to celebrate by putting together two hours of funny songs. The problem is that one man's funny is another woman's fingers-on-blackboard, with some songs by comedians excruciatingly unfunny and some very serious songs horrifically hilarious. So, armed only with a vague notion of songs that try and give people a chuckle here's what we ended up with this week: 


The Young Ones theme
Eat It - Weird Al Yankovic
Stutter Rap - Morris Minor and the Majors
Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) - Benny Hill
Mahna Mahna - The Muppets

The Court of King Caractacus - Rolf Harris

We're Both in Love with a Sexy Lady - Flight of the Conchords
This Poem Sucks (Harriet) - Mike Myers (from So I Married and Axe Murderer)
Tram Inspector - the Bedroom Philosopher
Cows with Guns - Dana Lyons
24 Hour Garage People - Half Man Half Biscuit
The Ballad of Freda and Barry - Victoria Wood
Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage Mrs Worthington - Noel Coward
You're Just Too Hip Baby - Dave Graney
Becoming More Like Alfie - Divine Comedy
Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me - Rocky Horror Picture Show Original Cast
Money, Money - Liza Minelli and Joel Grey (from Cabaret)
A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place - Dolly Parton (The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas)
Hold My Hand - The Rutles
Eric the Half a Bee - Monty Python
The Intro and the Outro - the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
Love Life - The Rutles
Bedazzled - Drimble Wedge and the Vegetations (Peter Cook and Dudley Moore)
Montage  - Team America World Police
The Riddler - Mel Torme
The Pub With No Beer - Slim Dusty
Preposterous Tales - I, Ludicrous
Right Said Fred - Bernard Cribbins
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Barbie Girl - Aqua
Shaddup Ya Face - Joe Dolce
Ain't No Greens in Harlem - The Vibrations
I Remember Punk Rock - Vic Reeves
The Majesty of Rock - Spinal Tap
Bring Me Sunshine - Morecambe and Wise


Although I had an extra hour, I still ran out of time to play these:


I Wanna be Straight - Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Bad Babysitter - Princess Superstar
Thou Shalt Always Kill - Dan le Sac and Scoobius Pip
Metaphor - Sparks
Ello John, Got a New Motor - Alexei Sayle
Hole in My Shoe - Neil
Austin Ambassador Y Reg - John Shuttleworth (yes, again - sorry Graham)
Jilted John - Jilted John
Panic Plants - The Lovely Eggs
The Queen is Dead - the Smiths
Formed a Band - Art Brut
I Can't Forget - Leonard Cohen
Why is it Always Dairy Lea? - the Shirehorses 


If you'd like to chuck in your tuppenceworth about songs that make you laugh I'd love to hear from you in the comments bit below. 


AFL returns to 98.9 North West FM next weekend so Centrelinked has a new starting time of 11am on Saturdays. Tune in on your Melbourne wireless or via http://www.northwestfm.org/ 

Sunny Side Up

This week on Centrelinked it was about snap and crackle and not just pop as we celebrated all things breakfast. From coffee to croissants, tea to toast, muffins to muesli, we covered it all in song - with a few more interesting alternatives hidden away like a plastic toy at the bottom of a cereal packet.

Special thanks go to Pink Floyd for Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast which provided over an hour's worth of backing music, chuntering and breakfast preparing noises.

What got played
The Breakfast Song - Annie
Judy Sucks a Lemon for Breakfast - Cornershop
Mario's Cafe - Saint Etienne
9-5 - Dolly Parton
She's Losing It - Belle and Sebastian
Beer for Breakfast - The Replacements
Beans for Breakfast - Johnny Cash
Beans, Bacon and Gravy - Cisco Houston
The Spam Song - Monty Python
Piggies - The Beatles
Serial Thrilla - The Prodigy
Superfast Jellyfish - Gorillaz with De La Soul and Gruff Rhys
Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos
Coffee and Toast - James
Coffee in the Pot - Supergrass
Percolator - Stereolab
Sexy Coffee Pot - Tony Avalon and the Belaires
How'd You Like Your Eggs in the Morning - Dean Martin and Helen O'Connell
Watermelons - the Lovely Eggs
Omelette from Outer Space - Adam and the Ants
Blueberries for Breakfast - Mamas and Papas
Martin Doom! It's Seven o'clock - The Boo Radleys
Punky's Dilemma - Simon and Garfunkel
Breakfast Time - Orange Juice
Breakfast in Bed - Dusty Springfield

Leftovers and Suggestions
Breakfast in America - Supertramp
Sex for Breakfast - Christina Aguilera
Black Coffee in Bed - Squeeze
Coffee and TV - Blur
Wake up and Make Love to Me - Ian Dury
Black Pudding Bertha - the Goodies
Wild Mushrooms - Lloyd Cole
Down Under - Men at Work
You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
Cigarettes and Coffee - Rufus Wainwright

Ta to everyone who texted or tweeted or actually listened on your wireless. You make it all worthwhile. Feel free to add to my little list of breakfast songs using the comments below...

Holding Back the Years

Centrelinked jumped in the Delorean this week for a spot of time travel through the ages, stopping only where songsmiths had deemed a year exciting enough to celebrate in song. Taking in everything from the recent past and the distant future these were the songs that got played:

Also Sprach Zarathrustra - Theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey (Disco Version)
1969 - The Stooges
Sexcrime (1984) - The Eurythmics
1901 - Phoenix
1976 - RJD2
1977 - The Clash
1981 - Public Image Limited
Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
69 Annee Erotique - Serge Gainsbourg
New York Mining Disaster 1941 - the Bee Gees
You Keep It All In - The Beautiful South
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
3030 - Deltron 3030
In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus) - Zager and Evans

And other stuff that didn't get played for one reason and another
Miss Freelove '69 - Hoodoo Gurus
1993 - Carter USM
1974 - Ryan Adams
1985 - Manic Street Preachers
1974 - Robin Hitchcock
Disco 2000 - Pulp
Pop Song 89 - REM
Carnival 2000 - Prefab Sprout
1992 - Blur
1963 - New Order
Summer of 75 - Vic Reeves
1966 and all that - Half Man Half Biscuit
It Ain't 1918 - Sparks
December 1963 (Oh What a Night) - Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons

So no Eels songs this week but once again Blur, Pulp, Sparks and Half Man Half Biscuit all offered their Centrelinked services.

Next week - songs about breakfast!

Centrelinked - Saturday mornings from 10.30am on 98.9 North West FM (northwestfm.org)

Feel free to join in using @mintcustard or @northwestfmmelb and #centrelinked