Monday, 24 January 2011

Compost Mentalis

Recycling is - I’m sure we all agree – a good thing. You get rid of stuff you don’t want, someone else benefits. Less crap gets manufactured; fewer things get buried in enormous holes. Win win win win.

The key element here is that you get rid of stuff you don’t want. I emphasise this particular point to the mean sods who stole my compost bin out of our garden on Friday. I may applaud your clandestine commitment to the ecologically sound disposal of organic matter and kitchen scraps, but I was using that, you gits.

Let’s be frank here - who steals a 240 litre compost bin? The last time I had a look in there it was full of worms, ants, woodlice and several species of spider. Oh yes – and about a year’s worth of decomposed stinky mouldy food. This is not a flat screen telly. I know thieves like to wear gloves (I’ve seen The Bill) but seriously, you would need gloves to protect your gloves from that mountain of stink. Because of you that same fetid pile was left out in the 30 degree sun for two days, gathering flies like squirrels collect nuts.

Still, every silver lining and all that and I must say that the enormous mound of muck that I shovelled back into our new compost bin (only $30 from Bunnings, you thieving knackers) was showing the anaerobic benefits of a good turning come Sunday night. That said I hope that wherever you rehouse our really-rather-average compost bin becomes a weed-ridden jungle with potato blight. It’s the least you deserve for putting the mental back in environmental.


Anonymous said...

Honestly, the standards of burglars these days... I hope you bought an alarm system and cctv setup while you were at Bunnings in case they return. May your scraps rest in peace from now on.

Mint Custard said...

Sadly no CCTV. If I had one installed it would be trained on the caterpillars that keep eating my sunflowers. Little feckers. Little cute feckers, yes, but feckers none the less...