Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Suffrage Succotash

It would appear that the political u-bend impasse created out of last month's hung parliament in the Australian Federal election will finally be unblocked today as the kingmaker independent MPs show their hands. With the two Green affiliated members already siding with Labor it is now up to the three country independents - Tony Windsor, Bob Katter and Rob Oakeshott - to decide who will form a minority government. By this evening we should know their answer.

Not only will this deliver us a government and relief from the endless hypothesising and second guessing by the media, but it should also curtail any further references to Windsor, Katter and Oakeshott as the Three Amigos. The sooner this trio make a decision and return to the shadows of the back benches the better for the good name of the actual
Three Amigos,
Lucky Day (Steve Martin), Ned Nederlander (Martin Short) and Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase).

Martin, Chase and Short: Never to be as funny again

I for one am not happy to have my heroes associated with this kind of political jiggery pokery and would like to carpae this particular diem to reclaim the good name of The Three Amigos by reliving some of their greatest moments through the glory of
¡You Tube!
  • My Little Buttercup - The willing-to-please Amigos entertain the confused locals at the town cantina with a little pat-a-cake vaudeville song and dance
  • Girl 1: "Which one do you like?" Girl 2: "I like the one that is not so smart" Girl 1: "which one is that?"
  • "would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?" El Guapo gets technical over vocabulary
  • Ned gets wasteful with his water canteen and lip balm whilst the others suffer in the heat of the desert

"Excuse us. We're Not Mexicans. We're from out of town."

  • Ned, Lucky and Dusty summon the invisible swordsman to disastrous affect
  • Flugelman "do you know what 'nada' means?" Dusty "Isn't that a light chicken gravy?"
  • "Gonna make it" - painful physical comedy brilliance from Martin as he attempts to escape his prison chains
  • "We all have our own personal El Guapo to face. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us" - Lucky inspires the troops with a rousing, confusing speech

"Seize Him!" - Lucky gets unlucky

  • Rosita: "I was thinking later you could kiss me on the verandah" Dusty: "lips will be fine"
  • The Amigos campfire singalong of Blue Shadows (On The Trail) accompanied by singing horses, dancing tortoises and shooting stars. Lovely
  • "we raped the horses ... and pruned the hedges of many small villages" - Dusty tries to bluff his way out of trouble with El Guapo
  • "Could it be that once again you are angry for something else, and you are taking it out on me?" - Jefe gets to the heart of his relationship with El Guapo

The "infamous" El Guapo receives a birthday sweater from his men

  • El Guapo "El Guapo only kills men. [the Amigos shuffle nervously] He does not kill crying women! [The Amigos let out a sigh of relief]
  • "I think it's a mail plane" - Ned forgets not to laugh at his own joke
  • "In-famous? Wow!" The Amigos receive a telegram regarding the infamous El Guapo
  • "Look Up Here" - Lucky tries in vain to secretively summon Ned and Dusty. (If you don't watch any other clip watch this one for a reminder of why Steve Martin used to be such a big star).

So Messrs Katter, Oakeshott and Windsor - your moment in the limelight is up. Time for you to face your El Guapo, make a call and then ride off into the sunset. Let's hope for all our futures that your decision making is a little better than that of your temporary namesakes. ¡Arriba!

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