Hot Dogs

"I'm taking the advice of Theodore Roosevelt: speak softly and carry a beagle"

Miss Sally Brown (sister of Charlie Brown), Peanuts, 1974

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Centrelinked that's who, as we paid tribute to canine companions in song. There are more songs about dogs than things that our dog will eat (he'll eat anything) so we only dipped our paw in the water bowl of pooch paeans, but they were all good boys rather than bad dogs. These were the numbers that set tails a-wagging...

- I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges

- I Want a Dog - Pet Shop Boys

- Walking the Dog - the Rolling Stones

- Hey Bulldog - the Beatles

- Golden Retriever - Super Furry Animals

- Poodle Rockin' - Gorkys Zygotic Mynci

- Hound Dog - Betty Everett

- Dog Eat Dog - Adam and the Ants

- Do the Dog - the Specials

- Dogs are the Best People - the Fauves

- Black Eyed Dog - Nick Drake

- Dogwood Blossom - Fionn Regan

We hosted to our very first studio invasion as Max, an 11 year old Jack Russell terrier came into the studio with his owner Colin who happened to be listening nearby. Time devoted to Max meant we didn't get to play any Snoop Dogg or any of these splendid numbers:

- Can Your Pussy do the Dog - the Cramps

- Jenny and the Ess-Dog - Stephen Malkmus

- Dog's Got a Bone - the Beta Band

- Black Dog - Led Zeppelin

- Essex Dogs - Blur

- Dogs are Everywhere - Pulp

- Diamond Dogs - David Bowie

- Dog Without  Wings - Kathryn Williams

- Black Dog on My Shoulder - Manic Street Preachers

A special mention for the backing music this week which came courtesy of Cat Stevens (oh, the irony) and his ridiculously ahead of its time 1977 electronic number Was Dog a Doughnut?  Yes, it really is Cat Stevens. 

And finally big thanks to @oilyshoes for suggesting Pink Floyd's Seamus and to @hevidutihamma for suggestions of Florence and the Machine's Dog Days are Over and 2Pac's Wonder Why They Call U Bitch which clearly would have been too potty mouthed for Centrelinked but hey, the kids are the kids...

Centrelinked is on your wireless at 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. Listen from wherever you are by visiting www.northwestfm.org or listen on Tune In (www.TuneIn.com).

Remember you can play along during the week on Tw*tter via @mintcustard or #centrelinked or add your comments after each show below. Tata. 

Under Pressure

Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.
Nervous tension can cause you to lack confidence in yourself,
To lose your powers of concentration and to be inefficient in your work.
Nervous tension can prevent you from relaxing, can spoil your leisure hours,
And rob you of the sleep you need at night.
The mind remains tense when it is restlessly turning over personal problems,
Worrying about financial matters, or the conflicts of daytime employment, or
Fretting over the troubles of the world.
Lemon Jelly - Nervous Tension (1998)

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!”

Dr Peter Venkman, a Ghostbuster

As Rudyard Kipling once noted, the ability to keep your head when all around you are losing theirs is not a bad one to have. Yet it seems that leaders at every level around the world have lost their respective plots.  With Venkman-esque predictions about the imminent collapse of western civilisation reported on a daily basis no wonder we’re all feeling a little frazzled and put upon in 2012. Consequently this week Centrelinked was here to offer the stressed a shoulder to sob on, and the pressured time to unwind. Remember, you’re not alone (because they’re always watching you...)  

Here’s what got played:       

- Paranoid – Black Sabbath

- First Day – the Futureheads

- The Sound of Fear - Eels

- Anxious – the Housemartins

- Panic – the Smiths

- Nervous Tension – Lemon Jelly

- Pressure on Julian – Blur

- Under Pressure – David Bowie and Queen

- Panic Plants – the Lovely Eggs

- Fitter Happier - Radiohead

- The Fear – Pulp

- The Fear – Lily Allen

- Don’t You Worry About a Thing – Stevie Wonder

And what we didn’t have time for because our bosses were working us too hard and we got scared and had to go home sick

- Nervous Breakdance – Custard

- Stressed Out – A Tribe Called Quest

- 19th Nervous Breakdown – The Rolling Stones

Centrelinked is on your radio thanks to 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. Listen where’er you may wander via www.northwestfm.org or those good folks at www.TuneIn.com

Play along during the week on Tw*tter via @mintcustard or #centrelinked.  

One Lump or Two?

My favourite part of this week’s Centrelinked came during our first community announcement break. On a sugar-themed show, and having just played the Archies’ most famous number a somber voice came on to warn North West FM listeners of the perils of diabetes. This was swiftly followed by the Four Tops’ Sugar Pie Honey Bunch which, when I was a kid was used in an advert for Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, one of the most sugary cereals on the market. You couldn’t make it up etc.

The other spoonfuls of sugar helping the Centrelinked medicine go down were…     

Brown Sugar – the Rolling Stones

Hit – the Sugarcubes

Spin Spin Sugar – Sneaker Pimps

Sugar Sugar – the Archies

I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) – the Four Tops

Rappers Delight – the Sugarhill Gang

Sugarman – Rodriguez

I Want Some Sugar in My Bowl – Nina Simone

If I Can’t Change Your Mind – Sugar

Lips Like Sugar – Echo and the Bunnymen

Sugartown – Nancy Sinatra

Pour Some Sugar on Me – Def Leppard

Things I ran out of time for included Beth Orton’s Sugar Boy, Neil Young’s Sugar Mountain and something by the Sugababes. Thanks to whoever texted in for Def Leppard after 30 seconds. You and I are now related.

Fans of Rodriguez should keep an eye out for Searching for Sugar Man, a 2012 documentary film about two South Africans who go looking for the man who provided the background music to their youth during apartheid. It looks rather splendid. Check out Rodriguez’ website www.sugarman.org for more on the film and the man himself.

Centrelinked is on 98.9 North West FM every Saturday morning here in Melbourne. You can listen where’er you may be via www.northwestfm.org or via Tune In radio. 


Next week: anxiety attack!

Follicular Spectacular

"I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight." 

Danny the dealer, Withnail and I 

Hair. You've either got it or you haven't. This week on Centrelinked we spent 45 hirsute minutes whipping our hair back and forth across your radio dial in celebration of hair dos and don'ts. This is what got played...


Devils Haircut - Beck
Jesus Hairdo - the Charlatans
Greetings to the New Brunette - Billy Bragg
Bernice Bobs Her Hair - the Divine Comedy
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Almost Cut My Hair - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
Hair - the Cowsills
Ice Hockey Hair - Super Furry Animals
Diana's Hair - Let's Wrestle
Take the Skinheads Bowling - Campervan Beethoven
Wig in a Box - Hedwig and the Angry Inch


And here's some more songs about hair we didn't have time for:


Black Hair - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Let it Down - George Harrison
Hair - Finishing School
Hairdresser on Fire - Morrissey
La Jeune Fille aux Cheveux Blancs - Camille
Freda (with the Naturally Curly Hair) - Vince Guaraldi 
Oh! Mr Hairdresser - Vic Reeves 


and lest we forget the combined works of the Long Blondes, Blondie and the Hair Bear Bunch.  Not their total combined works obviously. That's a small Venn diagram.


Any additions then? Feel free to posit your tuppenceworth in the comments box. Ta.


Centrelinked, every Saturday from 11am on 98.9 North West FM (www.northwestm.org). Play along each week via @mintcustard and #centrelinked

Grinning Myself to Death

In news that has left me vulnerable to feather related knock-downs, Paul Heaton has announced that he will be touring Australia in October 2012 for what I think is the first ever time. 

I had long assumed our shared passion for not dying in aeroplanes ruled out any chance of me ever seeing Paul on these shores, and yet here we are. Clearly he has faith that his lucky pixie and Simon le Bon calling card (previously used as inflight lucky charms) are working well. Whatever the reason, it is ace news.

Anyone who has ever had a casual glance at these pages would know my appreciation for all things Heaton - the pop star against which all others should be judged. It's been 23 years since my first concert - a Christmas night out at Bridlington Spa with the Beautiful South. The newly formed band went to such lengths not to play Housemartins songs that they did You Keep It All In twice and offered covers of Pebbles' Girlfriend and the Bee Gees' You Should be Dancing. 

Thankfully Paul seems to have reconciled himself with his extensive back catalogue and the Australian gigs are promising a greatest hits set covering all of his career - Housemartins, the South and solo. I can hardly believe I'm typing those words.

Despite having turned 50 this month, Heaton is fresh from writing and performing The 8th (the longest pop song ever) at the Manchester International Festival and undertaking another of his cycling pub tours of the UK, so it sounds like we're going to see an energised and engaged PD. I can't help but feel it will have been worth every minute of the long wait.



• Wednesday 17 October – Jive Bar, Adelaide (http://www.jivevenue.com/)
• Thursday 18 October – Corner Hotel,Melbourne (http://cornerhotel.com/)
• Saturday 20 October – The Factory, Sydney (http://www.factorytheatre.com.au/)Sunday 21 October – Fly By Night, Perth (http://www.flybynight.org/)

So, Australian fans, let's get up off our knees and start compiling that dream set list... form an orderly queue in the comments section below. 

Douze Points

In case you hadn't noticed, it was Eurovision weekend. Whilst most people couldn't give nul points, in some corners of Australia (including this one) dedicated Eurovististas were turning off the internet, avoiding the news and trying to get through the day Likely Lads-style without hearing the result. 


To celebrate Centrelinked decided to go on a quick Contiki-style jaunt around Europe in our musical combi-van, cramming as many countries and cities into 45 minutes as we could. Here's where we went:


Berlin Chair - You Am I
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might be Giants
Do the Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
Amsterdam - Peter, Bjorn and John
Barcelona - Giulia y los Tellarini
Roam - the B-52s
Young Parisians - Adam and the Ants
Ask - The Smiths
Vienna - Ultravox
Norwegian Wood - Cornershop
Dukla Prague Away Kit - Half Man Half Biscuit
Miss Sarajevo - Passengers


We ran out of time for the Reindeer Section's Budapest and the Beautiful South's Rotterdam which was a shame. Maybe next time. Thanks to my first caller too for ringing up and suggesting We're Going to Ibiza by the Vengaboys. You have no idea how happy your request for that terrible song made me. If I could pay for you to go to Ibiza just for ringing I would...  

Silent and Grey

Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"

Alan Partridge - I’m Alan Partridge – To Kill A Mocking Alan

According to Morrissey, everyday is like Sunday. This is just as well because this week Centrelinked chose to pay tribute to the week's sleepiest day 24 hours early with 90 minutes of songs about Sunday. There were Sundays lazy, bloody and blue and all these in-between...

• Lazy Sunday – Small Faces
• Sunday Girl – Blondie
• Better than Sunday – Ladyhawke
• Sunday’s Pretty Icons – Belle and Sebastian
• Sunday Morning – Aluminum Group
• Sunday Morning – James
• Grandma’s Hands – Bill Withers
• Sunday Kind of Love – Etta James
• Sunday Sun – Beck
• Blue Sunday – the Doors
• Sunday Sunday – Blur
• It Always Rains on Sunday – The Groove Farm
• Pleasant Valley Sunday – The Monkees
• Summertime – the Sundays
• Everyday is like Sunday – Morrissey
• A Sunday Smile – Beirut
• Sunday Bloody Sunday (live) – U2
• Field Day for the Sundays – Wire
• Sunday to Saturday – the June Brides
• Sunday Morning Coming Down – Johnny Cash
• Where Do I Begin? – Chemical Brothers with Beth Orton
• Sunday Morning – Velvet Underground
• Stars on Sunday – All Seeing Eye

As always feel free to add to the list using the comments below...  Centrelinked will be back on your wireless next Saturday from 11am on 98.9 North West FM